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2024 Jersey Design Coming

 

Optional Finisher's Jersey

  • A Finishers Jersey may be purchased. However, those who don't finished will not have a choice in the matter as their money will be refunded, whether they like it or not! 

  • Due to many riders likely not finishing and needing refunds, all Finisher's Jerseys will be printed and mailed to riders a couple weeks following the event.

  • Moreover, all riders are required to read and sign the Finisher's Jersey Contract. 

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  • Finisher's Jerseys will be sent shortly after the event to account for the high percentage of riders who will fail to finish.

  • Finisher's Jerseys for the Ultra 200k and the 1st Time Century will require the rider to have their ride verified on Strava and have "Bright Lights" and a synonym for finisher in their Strava ride title.

  • The Bright Lights for Kids event is not responsible for your abdominal pain from laughter if you choose to read the contract in the days before the event.

Finisher's Jersey Contract

It is with great pride that I (I, being the signed person named/listed/printed below) have earned this jersey by finishing the Bright Lights for Kids bike ride, Kansas City’s premier cycling event; all the while, making my contribution to Braking the Cycle for children in foster care. As part of my commitment to earning, ordering, receiving, and having this amazing finisher’s jersey in my possession I fully agree to all of the following within this contract. I make this agreement to the following, fully and entirely of my own volition without any pressure from any other person(s) and/or parties. Furthermore, I will never say someone threatened to hit me in the head with a broom if I didn’t agree to the provisions of this contract and/or any other such pressure(s) or other nonsuch pressure(s) which don’t include things like brooms to the head.

  1. Earned jersey:  I acknowledge that this is a Bright Lights for Kids Finisher’s Jersey and only a finisher of the distance listed on the jersey or listed as a requirement to gain the jersey, is permitted to ever own, possess, and/or wear this jersey. Note, there is a brief provision in the possession clause, as I am allowed to let a family member briefly have possession of the jersey, but only for the purpose(s) of what is to be considered general upkeep of the jersey (upkeep includes that I need to wash my jersey; yes, people want me to PLEASE wash my jersey after EVERY use, the people drafting behind me will be extremely thankful).

  2. No longer in need of the jersey: At some point I will no longer require this jersey either because I’ve moved on from cycling (please I should never do this), or my life has met its demise and I have perished (I plan on only doing this one time unless I plan on living forever, which if that is the case well then so far so good), or some other unforeseen event. At such a point, I am still responsible to ensure only those who ever earned this jersey; may own, possess, or wear this jersey. Thus, I acknowledge within 24 hours of receiving this jersey I have instructed my heirs as to the proper expectations and requirements as to what they are to do with this jersey if I am unable to properly dispose of or move on this jersey. During any such brief time which my heirs are required to possess this jersey, in order to properly dispose of or move on this jersey, this will be deemed permissible possession so long as the possession is for a minimal amount of time.

  3. Proper disposal of the jersey:  The jersey is permitted to be placed in my coffin with me or it can join me in a crematorium oven and meet its final resting place as ashes forever with me. Other acceptable methods of disposal of the jersey is to have a ritual prior to burning it in a fireplace, campfire, a firepit, or other acceptable fire which is preferably not illegally but still grand in stature. I do realize a proper ritual must be observed; such as, in the case of Old Glory, the proper way to dispose is to cut the stars away from the strips prior to burning it. If using this method I must ensure I establish a proper ritual if burning. Other methods of disposal include burial at sea (the middle of the ocean is preferred), Jimmy Hoffa style in which it can be permanently encapsulated into a minimum of 1 ton of concrete, it can be sliced into two or more unwearable separate pieces and placed as flags at the top of a separate massive mountain (think half at the top of Mt. Everest and the other half at the top of Mt. Evans) or other impressive massive monuments, or a complete annihilation in an epic game of tug-of-war with man’s best friend or other large create like a lion or bear (however, I do know that tug-of-war with creatures such as bears, lions, and other such man-eaters is only permissible if it can be done with complete and unquestionable safety for the animal. Oh yes; and all person(s) have to be guaranteed to be safe as well. One other method would be to connect it to a city grade firework by an official city contracted and authorized pyrotechnics person(s) on the Fourth of July having it fly in the sky to explode. However, if this method is used, I agree to find at least one scrape of the jersey which has fallen from the sky to ensure that it does in fact explode into several pieces. Finally, the jersey may be “moved on”. Moving on the jersey may only be to a person who has been confirmed to have finished the distance with which my jersey was earned. To confirm, Bright Lights for Kids may have a Hall of Fame up of riders eligible to wear the jersey of the longest distance(s), I or my heirs may contact the event organizer to see if the person I want to become the new owner is eligible, the person I believe to be eligible has the same jersey in a smaller size but has simply got overly fat to wear it but can wear mine, or simply bring it to the annual event and leave it at the registration table for the event organizer to properly move on the jersey.

  4. Liability: It is crucial to understand that if I fail to honor the agreements made within this contract I am devaluing all riders who have properly earned and proudly wear their jerseys. As such, they have the ability to hold me liable for damages if I fail to honor this contract. As I know, there are numerous attorneys who love riding and inevitably some have earned this jersey and as such are more than likely and willing to file a liability civil suit to hold me accountable for my immoral and despicable failure to uphold and honor this contract. Moreover, even non-attorney folk will feel a need to hold you accountable and even as a layperson, they may file a civil claim against you. The liability minimum and maximum liability for any and all civil claims are as follows. Minimum liability will be $1.00 plus any court filing fees.  The maximum damages are $1.11, all reasonable court filing fees, and the moral disgrace of knowing I am a sad human who failed to honor my commitments. 

  5. Wearing the jersey: Wear it with pride and wear it often. Moreover, as mentioned above, don’t forget to wash it.

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